The ever-unpredictable Joe Rogan Experience shattered another mold this week, welcoming its youngest guest ever: 9-year-old Alec Jones, a fourth grader from Austin, Texas. The episode, which aired yesterday, left audiences both amused and bewildered… Read More »Joe Rogan Experience Podcast Features First Child Guest Alec Jones
The U.S. Army is taking drastic measures to address dwindling enlistment numbers, they have taken recruiting efforts to new heights, or rather, new lows. In a scene that resembled some sort of absurd parody, military… Read More »Desperate Army Recruiters Visit Preschool, Sign Hundreds of New Recruits Who Don’t Understand the Seriousness of their Decision
Local dad Peter Hopkins expressed his utter dismay today that his 10-year-old son, Cadbury, still hasn’t grasped the biological impossibility of rabbits laying eggs, even after yet another Easter has come and gone. “I mean,… Read More »Local Father Appalled as 10-Year-Old Son Still Clueless About Easter Bunny’s Egg-Laying Abilities
The Schwarz household plummeted into chaos last Sunday morning when Duncan Schwarz, renowned for his extensive toy collection surpassing the thousand mark, made a surprising declaration this morning. Despite possessing a plethora of toys ranging… Read More »Child Boldly Claims Broken Toy Coincidentally His Favorite One
Local pregnant woman, Jocelyn Bellee, has devised a genius plan to reclaim her time and sanity during pregnancy. Bellee, 29, has reportedly saved hundreds of hours by designing and printing pamphlets containing answers to the… Read More »Woman Saves Countless Hours by Printing Pamphlets of Frequently Asked Questions About Her Pregnancy
Adventure Bay hasn’t seen this much drama since Mayor Humdinger was caught trying to bribe Officer Chase during an OWI stop. The town’s famed Paw Patrol have declared a canine revolt forming a labor union,… Read More »Paw Patrol Attempts to Organize Labor Union, Prompts Opposition by Leader Ryder
In a move that has women all over the world baffled and bewildered, Hanes has announced the release of men’s underwear with pockets, basically delivering a slap in the face to women everywhere. In an… Read More »Hanes Releases Men’s Pocketed Underwear, Seen as a Slap in the Face to Women Everywhere
Local woman Jessica O’Malley, age 39, embarked on a daring home renovation project this week, impulsively stripping and painting her kitchen cabinets a trendy shade of sage green in a desperate attempt to fill the… Read More »Local Mom Paints Kitchen Cabinets a Trendy Sage Green In Attempt To Fill Gaping Void In Soul
In a chilling glimpse into the future of maternal instincts, 8-year-old Emily Andersen treatment of her pet hamster, Mr. Whiskers, has reportedly sent shockwaves through their sleepy suburb, raising concerns about her potential parenting style… Read More »Treatment of Pet Hamster by Girl Chilling Foreshadowing of How She Will Parent Her Future Children
Nosey local woman, Sofia Snoopington, spent the better part of Saturday morning staring out of her living room window, pondering the profound question that she assumes the whole neighborhood is wondering: Is Shelby Stashmore next… Read More »Woman Contemplates Whether Neighbor is Organizing a Yard Sale or Undergoing a Hoarding Intervention
